Who I am and why I’m here – Blogging101

I am a woman, a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a daughter. I have been in this world for three decades. I have worked in airlines and in shipping as an accountant and a documentation clerk. But I learned quickly that I enjoy creating more. I like to do and to make many different things starting with creating music, drawing, designing, photography ending with sewing, knitting, leather craft and writing. Creating is a language for me through which I express myself. And it seems that I like to speak more than one language depending on the season in my life. Currently I’m at home with my youngest daughter (1y 8m) which is why I feel a little isolated from the rest of the world. I also lack time for myself and for creating something in peace (as you may imagine a mom’s everyday life :)

But really, does it say who I am? Or, have I had a chance yet to see who I am or who I could be?
I am still that 6 year old girl who is looking at an ant nest and wondering if there is somebody or something so big that is looking at me the way I am looking at these ants. I am still a 26 year old single mother who decides to go on a half year long journey to the other side of the planet together with her 5 year old daughter – to learn about life, and herself. I am somebody who gets inspired by colours, nature, music, people and their stories, big goals, challenges, the stars and the unknown. I am somebody who believes in the power of dreaming with the right feeling. You know – imagine your future spouse, what qualities you want him (or her) to have; and even the details e.g. what is the colour of his eyes etc. Write it on a yellow post-it and stick it on a mirror that you see often. And two weeks later you meet your future spouse and the father of your children. My true story. Naive? Silly? Yes, I am all that, too. And it works fine for me. I jump with joy. And appreciate the gracefulness and flexibility inside, by dancing outside.

Sometimes I lose focus or dive into something so much that my surrounding becomes a little foggy. Sometimes I can self-destructively think too much about details. I am broken at times. I have fears that make my tummy stiff, or make me turn around right behind a door and go back home. Sometimes I go to my comfortable corner and cry all the tension out. And that’s alright. Because I am the life with duality – all the way from fear to love.

And this is why I am here – to wonder together about mad and wonderful things about people and life. Give and get feedback, inspiration, encouragement through writing; about writing. What we all have in common is some sort of a struggle – and that’s something mandatory for a great story and inspiration to share.

Blogging101 – Introduce Yourself 

Being real

FreeAndReal

I want to see what is and what is not.
I want to listen to and hear what those whom I love really say to me.
I want to feel love, and not be distracted by my own thoughts or worries, when I look into their eyes.
I want things to be simple and happy instead of experimenting with my own feelings that result from the unnecessary doubts.
I want to say Yes instead of No and not to make choices that are drugged by fear.

I want to be simple and free.

I want to be..

real.

Leap of faith

Just yesterday I did nothing but took risks and experienced a lot. I was living life. I had a pulse in my veins, tickling beat in my heart, love for life in my soul” said a woman with a sad and confused look in her eyes, who t h i n k s she has lost some of it today.

Some people call it naivety with arrogance, others with pride. Some people say it takes courage, some say it is as simple as it sounds. It’s a wonderful balance, it’s acceptance and trust. It’s a place where you are aware of the infinite possibilities to get hurt and lose – and as mad as it sounds, you accept this.  

 How beautiful is a human being who in the face of possible dangers still lives fully, has faith and smiles a lot.

 

leap of faith

 

Because.. what would be the alternative?

While she may be afraid of losing something what she has today and keep herself away from living life, from letting herself go a little nuts with happiness in order to make herself feel safe – this itself is a much bigger loss than what she thinks she is afraid of losing today. In other words, if losing acceptance and trust is the biggest loss itself, is there anything else to worry about?